You’ve come such a long way. Why go and revisit the past when you know that there’s only pain and agony? Why go when all that happens is a breakdown and knots in your stomach? Why let one thing a person said affect you so much? Why become the person in your story that you’re disgusted by? Stop coughing. Don’t puke. Drink water. Eat your vitamins. Ignore what people say. It’s hard. It’s really hard. It never resonates right away. It’s always a few days later. Never hits hard. Not until later. Not until you want to revisit that story that ended it all and was the start of the beginning to recovery. Breathe. Stop. Don’t talk unless necessary. Don’t be hard on yourself. WHY LET ONE PERSON’S COMMENT MAKE YOU REVISIT THE PAST. WHY LET ONE PERSON BEGIN TO DESTROY WHAT YOU’VE BEEN STRUGGLING FOR SO LONG TO BUILD. WHY LET ONE PERSON BE THE DICKHEAD THAT CAUSES YOU TO SPIRAL BACK TO WHAT YOU WERE AND SO HATED TO BE.
Wow. So easy to hide something. So easy to recover. Practice makes perfect, doesn’t it? God. Why are you so mean to yourself? You’ll be ok. It’s what you tell Matt. You tell him that he’ll be ok, that you’ll be at his side through thick and thin, that you two can overcome this obstacle together. Don’t let anybody ruin that. You have to know that you can do this. You are not what people say you are. You are not merely a façade. You’re a real person. You are you and people can deal with it. 世界上只有一个你。