Frustration

I don’t think I dislike anything about my relationship worse than it being long distance. I’m not able to see him every week like I want or go to football games with him. When I’m down or when he’s down, neither of us can do anything for the other because we’re too far away to do anything. Two hours. Sure, it’s not as far as others but the distance still isn’t fun. I miss him so much and I look forward to our Skype calls every day. They are my favorite parts of my day. We might not be going to the same college but we might. I don’t know. I just know that we’ll still brew just as strong and probably even more.

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Labor Day Weekend

I’ve been in school for two weeks now *throws confetti.* Just kidding. I mean, it’s not to say that I’m not enjoying my last year of high school; it’s just there is so much to do. College applications, collage essays, teacher recommendations, transcripts, etc. All of that plus regular school work and extracurricular activities. Not to mention, my school is a sucker for traditions, so those are going to be coming up soon. Basically, this Labor Day weekend was one I had been looking forward to as a break from school work (even though that’s all I’ve been doing on actual Labor Day. The irony that goes with that).

So, let’s start with Saturday. I saw the cutest puppy ever! I mean the cutest. It’s a four month old Samoyed named Bear. He seriously looks like a mini polar bear. Oh, goodness, he’s adorable! He’s the dog of my friend who had come home with her husband for a visit. We all had lunch and played with the little guy until he fell asleep, which led to us to talk about our recent lives and plans for the future. After that, I had an hour long drive with my parents to another family friend’s house, where a lovely BBQ was to be held. There was sticky rice, roasted pork, grilled beef, pan fried bread and grilled chicken wings. It was uber yummy and delicious. I’m pretty sure that the definition of healthy did not exist for that night. We sat around and talked, again, about almost anything. After all, sitting with friends and good food is one of the best ways to relax and enjoy the simple things in life.

Now for Sunday. My boyfriend who lives two hours away drove over to see me. That’s basically the entire day; just kidding. We cooked kimchi ramen pancakes for lunch; man were they good. It’s basically already cooked ramen noodles, kimchi and pancake mix panfried to perfection. So yummy. We then met my best friend at the Taste of _____ festival in my city. I think we killed about three hours there, which included a stop at Dairy Queen for a smoothie and Coldstone at the end. (Sam, he ordered a cake batter milkshake…what am I going to do with him? XD). After that, we walked home and sat on my couch cuddling while watching the rest of Running Man, an awesome Korean variety show. After dinner, we watched The Lorax (it’s so cute and I love animated movies. Don’t judge) and my best friend decided to have great timing to try to Skype me. I sit up on my bed and then my boyfriend kind of appears over my shoulder, and she flips out a little before closing her laptop. It was really funny.

Basically, one of the best weekends ever. I’m sure there will be more to come, for instance, the planned Cedar Point trip I have with my friends. It was eventful and I loved it. I know this post is long so I’d be surprised if everybody read it because it’s not even semi-deep like any of my other posts. Oh well. :)

~Stefanie
Live.Laugh.Love.Smile :)<3

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From Under a Parent’s Wing

I absolutely cannot wait until I get out of my parents’ home and on my own. They seriously drive me up a wall, and I cannot stand it. I’ve had enough of them using the parent card and invading my privacy. Yes, as their child, I should respect them and not trash them; however, as my parents, they should also respect me, which doesn’t happen to often. I don’t expect grand ole gestures of respect but small things like asking before moving my stuff would be nice, especially when you are entering my work space. This problem would not exist if they didn’t have the want to have to keep an eye on what I am doing every second of the day and relegating me to the living room downstairs where everything is for all to see when just oh-so-casually walking by.

As parents, caring is fine, but my parents care too much and are way too nosy about all my work. Don’t tell me to do my work because I will get it done. I was not home for six weeks as I was studying. Did I need my parents to tell me to get my work done to do it? Nope, not at all. I got (almost) everything done without a parental figure telling me what to do. So, frankly, I know what I’m doing. I’m not horrendous at time management. Quite honestly, those six weeks were probably some of the best times of my life because I didn’t have my parents looking over my shoulder and I, frankly, didn’t even miss them.

This sounds mean, but I really just want them to be my financing and housing but nothing more. I receive no type of responsibility from them. I act like a child because you treat me like one. I am not going to show you that I can be a responsible person if you won’t treat me like one. I am not the typical child that becomes responsible to earn trust. I want you to trust me, and after this past summer, I’d say that I am quite trustworthy and mature. I did my work and I pulled my weight. Besides, maybe I’m not uncaring or emotionless; perhaps, you just are too emotional about me and I really just don’t care enough right now. I have goals and dreams in life that don’t involve you, primarily because I am tired of constantly seeing you every single day and I never really get to see my friends outside of school. You say you understand, but I highly doubt that statement.

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Day 229

So, about a week ago, I returned from a six-week summer course program. It was amazing, and I wouldn’t change anything for the world. The only problem with staying in a dorm in college in the middle of summer is you get too lazy to cook and end up eating whatever is available at the only open student cafeteria/center/union. It’s not to say that there was only fried and/or unhealthy food–they had a fruit bar in the morning, salad bar for lunch and dinner, and a deli-sub place/stall. I just personally don’t trust those kinds of open fruit/salad bars because I don’t know how fresh the fruit is. Sure, I mooched a little healthy things from my friends, but it was rare. Moral of this little intro is I had a ton of fried foods: burgers, fries, onion rings, bacon, etc. It was basically all I ate. All of that food tasted amazing, for sure, but so unhealthy and fatty.

Additionally, I didn’t exercise a ton. The rec center is really nice and great, but I didn’t really have that motivation to walk over there and burn some calories. (Looking back on it, I had the time and I really should have because I probably would not be in the position I am right now). I probably went casual swimming with friends about 4 times, but that won’t do much because we weren’t actually swimming. We basically were just fooling around in a pool. That’s it. Yes, I did walk a lot to get to my classes and such forth, but walking only burns so many calories. My caloric intake was much higher than the number of calories I burned throughout the day.

So, I guess the main point is that I haven’t really lost any weight. I actually gained 10 lbs while away at my summer classes. That’s a lot! Ah! Since I’ve been home, however, I’ve lost about 3-4 lbs and am hoping to continue to go back down, at least, to my original weight. Lower than that would be fantastic. I have been walking/running a little more while eating a little less and healthier for sure.

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Self-centered

To a lot of people, I come off as a self-centered little princess/bitch that gets everything she wants. Well, in some ways, that’s true, but it’s not without reason. I don’t think that everybody is talking about me or judging me because I want attention. Frankly, I don’t really like attention. It’s an overwhelming amount of pressure to not mess up and to be perfect. I think that because I constantly fear that people are judging me negatively, that I’m not good enough. I want to please everybody, but that’s very hard because it’s basically impossible. I would prefer it if nobody looked at me if I do something embarrassing or weird because I at least don’t have a sense of judgement. I’d rather be ignorant and happy than knowledgeable and miserable. 

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Distance

image

I think that this doesn’t apply to romantic love. I think that the care.and love between friends shouldn’t be too affected by how far apart they are. If you’re going to care for someone, then care even if at a distance. Care is still care.

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Calm Your Tits

I really don’t know what’s going on, but calm your tits. You’re not the only single person in our group of friends here. There are hella a lot of people still single. You’re not the only one that has to witness/sit through the PDA. Chill.

If you have a problem with something that I do or that someone else does, please tell me or him/her. Don’t be annoying by clinging to my boyfriend when we’re all swimming. Don’t lay on someone else’s boyfriend even if you like him because he is not yours. Don’t lay on other girls’ boyfriends in general. That’s just not cool. It’s especially rude if you do that in front of the girl because that just sets off a whole set of feelings that can cause some not so beautiful things. I don’t know if this is just you being you and none of us knew this, but it’s getting really annoying because you’re just pushing all different kinds of buttons. Like, that’s a no no. You don’t practically rub yourself up against someone’s boyfriend. That’s not cool at all. Not only does it push the wrong buttons on his girlfriend, but it probably (most definitely) also makes him feel uncomfortable. What the actual heck.

I don’t even know what to say anymore. Way too frustrated to even begin to be able to explain/voice my feelings. So, thanks for reading this short/bad/repetitive rant?

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